What to do...

 ...What to choose? 

Mad World

"How can you say your life is empty? So late in the day. Why would you stay another second? Now your sight got in the way. A combination ; of love and aggression. Another second lived. [...] Pain comes in stages. If we don't make it. Nothing changes" - South

"So take me under the floorboards, I would love to feel like wood. Take me back to the retards, 'cause the world just makes me sick. There are colours in the air when I fall to the ground. How we'd love to fall more often. [...] And your mouth tastes like sunshine, baby. But your eyes are all cool buried in my arms. And everything matters for a while as we fall to the ground" - The Rumor Said Fire

"All around me are familiar faces. Worn out places, worn out faces. Bright and early for the daily races. Going nowhere, going nowhere. [...] When people run in circles it's a very, very mad world, mad world" - Tears For Fears

 

 

Jeg gad godt..

Se dig smile igen. 

Have lavet mine lektier. 

Blive rask. 

Få et ekstra job. 

Anskaffe mig nogle rulleskøjter. 

Høre musik. 

Sove. 

Svømme. 

Eje en svømmehal. 

Få styr på min Roskilde Festival billet. 

Se mine Operation Dagsværk-venner. 

Se min bedste ven. 

Drømme. 

Ligge på mit gulv. 

Være mig selv, alene. 

Tror jeg har fået mig endnu en favorit sang, som kan konkurrere med den tidligere. 

Den nye:

The Rumor Said Fire - The Balcony

Den gamle:

Bon Iver & St. Vincent - Roslyn

"Take me back to the rainy days - the sun was shining anyways"

I guess everything's never as you remember it to be. Looking back today, I wouldn't change a thing. 

I can only change what's to come. The words are still unwritten.

Not any day, but today

On a day like this

not just any day

but this day

I miss you

like

I never could expect

Even the slightest

details

Can make me cry

And give out a sigh

Of heart-ache

And hurt

But I've got to focus

To not lose it

And you

Even if we don't want to

"An end has a start"

Why is it that so many people hate the end but not the start?

There's a reason for the end, but sometimes no reason for the start. Sometimes the reason doesn't makes sense, but at least it's there, and maybe one day we'll understand. But not today. Not this day. 

I can't remember the start of it, but the end is clear as glass in front me. And clarity is not bad, not bad at all. 

So what's so bad about the end? An end has a start, and can lead to another. Why is that so bad? 

"Everything I never wanted"

Exactly. How those words fit in my mind after this weekend, I can't even begin to describe. Hands everywhere, 800 people all at the same place, so many hands. All over the place. Nevertheless it was an okay weekend, but after something like that, I can't help feeling a bit claustrophobic, which is why I'm doing what I'm doing right now. Sitting in my bed, listening to some classical music and writing poetry (and this blog). 

I'd like to be freed from being free. 

Sometimes also from being me. 

Right now, yes. I don't want to be soaring, free. I want to be on the ground, solid and safe. I am no good at this obviously. 

Ludovico Einaudi - Resta Con Me

What a big sigh of relief. 

Girl, Interrupted

Just watched "Girl, Interrupted" for like the 117. time. I think everyone should watch it. The movie takes place in the 60's and is about a young girl, who is forcedly placed on a mental institution for women. Angelina Jolie is in the movie, but is not the main character. She has won prices for the part in the movie, and it is well deserved. The main character is played by Winona Ryder.

The movie has more than one theme, and continues to be interesting throughout the whole movie. 

"Maybe I was crazy, or maybe I was just a girl, interrupted"

Hej Fritz

Jeg er fuldstændig ligeglad med hvor depressiv jeg nu lyder, men jeg har tabt troen på, at der findes ordentlige mennesker i verden. Alle mennesker, jeg har stolet på gennem mit liv, har svigtet mig eller vist sig at være baseret på løgn. Så er der de vise ord: 

"Truth is everyone's going to hurt you. You just gotta find those worth suffering for" 

Men jeg kan ikke mere. Jeg kan ikke leve med tanken om, at folk altid skal vise sig at være gemene, onde af sind. Jeg har brug for at vide, at der er sandfærdige, godhjertede mennesker i verden. Ellers er den bare ikke værd at leve i. Men hver eneste dag bliver jeg bekræftet i, at folk er egoister, som inderst inde altid vil sætte sig selv før andre og ikke har det dårligt med det, hvis de kan slippe afsted med det. 

Jeg har i dag mistet tilliden til mennesker og kan nu forvente et liv alene (ikke fysisk, mentalt), da jeg ikke tør stole på nogen igen. 

Kærligheden og tilliden er uopnåelig for mig.

Så hvad er et menneske uden kærlighed? Et tomt menneske. Jeg må vel bruge resten af mit liv på at skrive digte og andet. Ting som vil holde mig beskæftiget og give følelsen af, at jeg lever for en grund. Alt andet ville være meningsløst. 

Hej Tomme Liv, må vi have det rigtig godt sammen i fremtiden. Ser frem til hvad vi får ud af det. Vi er selvfølgelig i selskab med min nye ring med et kronhjorthoved på, som jeg har kaldt Fritz. Helt alene er jeg ikke så, men Fritz kan heller ikke skade eller svigte mig. Tak Fritz.